In 2007 when I began what would eventually become this blog, I intended it to serve as a place for updates that family and friends back home could check on with a few pictures thrown in for fun. Eventually we moved back home but by then this blog letter evolved into a place where I store up all the day to day moments we might otherwise put aside in favor of the big events. Additionally it also became a place for me to vent, share, brag, cry and just ramble on from time to time most of the time. I know friends and family still stop by to get quick updates on what we've been up to but ultimately this place has become more personal and at times, private than I originally intended. Because of that I have been contemplating making this a closed site.
I worry that jilted relationships from the past may have too easy access to our lives. I worry that one day my kids will go to school and their friends will be able to read all the intimate details of their lives because of big mouth mama. I worry that because I have made our real names available I might be opening our family up to creepy "lurking toms". I've tried to keep our city and state private throughout but having our names out there may make it just an quick internet search to our exact location.
On the other hand I've also enjoyed "meeting" others, specifically other moms who write, via the blogging universe and making this a private place would certainly limit those interactions. Plus I like that this place is still available to our family and friends without needing to send invites or approve requests.
I know there are settings available to make only certain posts visible publicly and I plan to play around with that for a bit before making a final decision. I have made our past blog sites private because they contain our family name thus making them searchable via google. Maybe that alone will address my most immediate concerns.
I know this may seem unnecessary or random but in the past couple of days events have occurred that have forced me to reexamine what this blog has become and what might be the best thing for our family moving forward. I strongly want to keep moving ahead but not until I determine that our privacy needs are sufficiently addressed.
If you're a fellow blogger and have come up with a good way to balance between openess and privacy will you share what's worked either by comment or via email? Thanks in advance!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
So What's left? (aka My uniquely American, overpriviledged, yuppie rant of the day)
I made the mistake of watching Oprah yesterday. Huge mistake. Huuuuuge.
Not that I have anything against her or her show, although the show can be a bit flimsy and lacking in real depth, but the show's failure to live up to American Public Media's reporting standards is not the cause of my regret.
Michael Pollan is.
Now I've heard Mr. Pollan on NPR numerous times. Discussing food customs around the world. A summation of his rules for eating healthy like "Eat real food" or "Don't eat anything you're grandmother wouldn't recognize" and the mass production of our food chain (Here's where I'll take a quick break and acknowledge that those words are not verbatim from his book so don't hold me to it. And one other quick thought. My grandmother was born in 1892 in Mexico. I'm guessing there are quite a few items in a modern grocery store that wouldn't readily fall into the "what would grandma eat" category. Cause if I was to follow that rule to the letter I'd be eating beans, corn tortillas made on a stone metate , green chile, potatoes and well that's about it. Not that I would mind but I'm guessing diversification is also important.) But despite having "heard" him before and even after reading other such gems as "Fast Food Nation" (which if you love beef, I recommend you skip) the disgust hadn't truly hit home.
Which in a very long and scattered way brings me back to yesterday. I'm sitting there listening to facts and statistics that I've already heard and suddenly I started feeling ill. Not in the "oh that's sorta gross" kinda way but in a "I'm this close to swearing off all meat, dairy, eggs and preprocessed products" way.
Not one to give up on hamburgers that quickly I decided to look through our cabinets and analyze just how "processed" our food is. And let me preface this all by saying I'm the kind of Mom who made all organic, homemade baby food when the boys were infants and whose kids have never had soda, a cookie or snack that comes wrapped in plastic, real bacon or yummy, sugar laden cereals. Yes, I am a mean, mean mama.
After completing my quick ingredient rundown on the things we commonly stick in our mouth I felt like power spraying the inside of my gullet to rid it of the artificial flavors, colors, preservatives and who only knows what else is packed into our food. Many of the ingredients I couldn't pronounce or had never heard off. Even in seemingly healthy food like nonfat yogurt and granola. I feel stupid for not having previously cared that there is xanthan gum in my cottage cheese (and I'm still not clear on what it is despite a quick read on wikipedia) or diacetate in my deli meat.
Because I am the eternal student I decided to hit the local library and will spend the next few days with my head buried in books ranging in topic from food biology and evolution to the politics behind government subsidy programs. And yet despite wanting to immerse myself in basics, I'm still left with the fundamental question of how to avoid all the culinary chemistry experiments and mass produced yuck in favor of minimally processed, sustainable, locally sourced "real food" on a limited budget for a husband who doesn't consider a meal complete unless there is an animal at the center of it and children that are addicted to powder mac n cheese. And can I add that my grocery options are limited to Walmart on Valley, Walmart on Lohman and the one food co-op that charges 8.99 a lb for organic potatoes.
Am I the only one that dreams of moving to a happy little farm in Sweden?
Not that I have anything against her or her show, although the show can be a bit flimsy and lacking in real depth, but the show's failure to live up to American Public Media's reporting standards is not the cause of my regret.
Michael Pollan is.
Now I've heard Mr. Pollan on NPR numerous times. Discussing food customs around the world. A summation of his rules for eating healthy like "Eat real food" or "Don't eat anything you're grandmother wouldn't recognize" and the mass production of our food chain (Here's where I'll take a quick break and acknowledge that those words are not verbatim from his book so don't hold me to it. And one other quick thought. My grandmother was born in 1892 in Mexico. I'm guessing there are quite a few items in a modern grocery store that wouldn't readily fall into the "what would grandma eat" category. Cause if I was to follow that rule to the letter I'd be eating beans, corn tortillas made on a stone metate , green chile, potatoes and well that's about it. Not that I would mind but I'm guessing diversification is also important.) But despite having "heard" him before and even after reading other such gems as "Fast Food Nation" (which if you love beef, I recommend you skip) the disgust hadn't truly hit home.
Which in a very long and scattered way brings me back to yesterday. I'm sitting there listening to facts and statistics that I've already heard and suddenly I started feeling ill. Not in the "oh that's sorta gross" kinda way but in a "I'm this close to swearing off all meat, dairy, eggs and preprocessed products" way.
Not one to give up on hamburgers that quickly I decided to look through our cabinets and analyze just how "processed" our food is. And let me preface this all by saying I'm the kind of Mom who made all organic, homemade baby food when the boys were infants and whose kids have never had soda, a cookie or snack that comes wrapped in plastic, real bacon or yummy, sugar laden cereals. Yes, I am a mean, mean mama.
After completing my quick ingredient rundown on the things we commonly stick in our mouth I felt like power spraying the inside of my gullet to rid it of the artificial flavors, colors, preservatives and who only knows what else is packed into our food. Many of the ingredients I couldn't pronounce or had never heard off. Even in seemingly healthy food like nonfat yogurt and granola. I feel stupid for not having previously cared that there is xanthan gum in my cottage cheese (and I'm still not clear on what it is despite a quick read on wikipedia) or diacetate in my deli meat.
Because I am the eternal student I decided to hit the local library and will spend the next few days with my head buried in books ranging in topic from food biology and evolution to the politics behind government subsidy programs. And yet despite wanting to immerse myself in basics, I'm still left with the fundamental question of how to avoid all the culinary chemistry experiments and mass produced yuck in favor of minimally processed, sustainable, locally sourced "real food" on a limited budget for a husband who doesn't consider a meal complete unless there is an animal at the center of it and children that are addicted to powder mac n cheese. And can I add that my grocery options are limited to Walmart on Valley, Walmart on Lohman and the one food co-op that charges 8.99 a lb for organic potatoes.
Am I the only one that dreams of moving to a happy little farm in Sweden?
Final note: I am not so obtuse as to lack overwhelming gratitude that I live in a place where my family has unlimited access to safe drinking water and enough food to keep our bellies full and our bodies healthy and alive. I just wish there wasn't such a moral and nutritional dilemma between the way we want to eat and what we can reasonably afford for a family of five.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Twenty three 1/2 hours
Yesterday around 3pm I was ready to ditch my current position in domestic engineering in favor of something with more pay and shorter hours. Also less smells, obnoxious comments and mind numbing tantrums.
Yesterday around 4:25 pm I was the kind of Mom who loads her offspring into her car and then drives aimlessly for over an hour because anything, even wasting gas and simultaneously enlarging ones carbon footprint, seemed a better alternative to spending five more seconds inside a house with mean, angry little malcontents.
Yesterday around 9pm my mind was swirling, my body was aching and my soul was tired. I feel asleep praying for help, patience and direction.
But then there was today.
Today until around 8:45 am I cuddled in bed with three sweet, funny happy little people. Little people who didn't whine, cry, fight or argue but instead wanted to hug, smooch, have tickles fights and tumble around inside heavy winter blankets.
Today around 9:00 am my Mom called and I was happy to hear her voice. As I always am. Thanks Mom for always letting me spend the whole conversation talking about myself and the crazy little people I live with. We love you.
Today around 10:30 am I was the kind of Mom who loads three excited kids into a wagon and spends the rest of the morning slowly exploring the neighborhood. One rock, brittle leaf and wildflower at a time. And when we made it back home around noon everyone was happy, full of fresh air and ready lunch and a long afternoon nap.
Today around 2:30 pm I decided that although the paycheck is nonexistent and the crabby, smelly, exhausting moments are inevitable I won't be turning in my resignation letter just yet.
Yesterday around 4:15 pm I called my Momma cuz I didn't know what else to do. And just hearing her voice made me feel better. It didn't stop the little ones from screaming or the big one from yelling "You're not my best, loving Mommy anymore!" but it just made me feel better. Thanks Mom.
Yesterday around 4:25 pm I was the kind of Mom who loads her offspring into her car and then drives aimlessly for over an hour because anything, even wasting gas and simultaneously enlarging ones carbon footprint, seemed a better alternative to spending five more seconds inside a house with mean, angry little malcontents.
Yesterday around 9pm my mind was swirling, my body was aching and my soul was tired. I feel asleep praying for help, patience and direction.
But then there was today.
Today until around 8:45 am I cuddled in bed with three sweet, funny happy little people. Little people who didn't whine, cry, fight or argue but instead wanted to hug, smooch, have tickles fights and tumble around inside heavy winter blankets.
Today around 9:00 am my Mom called and I was happy to hear her voice. As I always am. Thanks Mom for always letting me spend the whole conversation talking about myself and the crazy little people I live with. We love you.
Today around 10:30 am I was the kind of Mom who loads three excited kids into a wagon and spends the rest of the morning slowly exploring the neighborhood. One rock, brittle leaf and wildflower at a time. And when we made it back home around noon everyone was happy, full of fresh air and ready lunch and a long afternoon nap.
Today around 2:30 pm I decided that although the paycheck is nonexistent and the crabby, smelly, exhausting moments are inevitable I won't be turning in my resignation letter just yet.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Photog
Being the wonderful, loving husband that he is, Patrick surprised me this Christmas by enrolling me in a photography class (Muchisimas gracias love!) Two weeks into it and I'm in luv. And after a couple of projects came up short because of the limited range of my craptastic point-n-shoots, Patrick surprised me yet again with an early Valentines present... (drumroll please).....my very own DSLR camera with a couple of wide angle lenses. I know. I know. But sorry ladies. He's all mine.
My new baby should arrive later this week but in the meanwhile I used my old Kodak for this weeks' project: Repetition/Patterns in Nature. Later this week I'll present one and discuss lighting, depth of field, exposure and composition with my fellow budding photogs. I'm still undecided but I think I'm leaning towards the first. Whatdaya think?
My new baby should arrive later this week but in the meanwhile I used my old Kodak for this weeks' project: Repetition/Patterns in Nature. Later this week I'll present one and discuss lighting, depth of field, exposure and composition with my fellow budding photogs. I'm still undecided but I think I'm leaning towards the first. Whatdaya think?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Because I'm feeling a little melodramatic today
I'm hoping that when I walk into that room I will not find two little boys who have ripped of their diapers and spent the remainder of the hour playing sans clothing.
But if the past three days are any indication of my future that is exactly what I'll get.
And we want to have another one? .
Did I mention the nervous twitch I've developed in my right eye? And how at times I've thought it would be "rather nice" to be deaf, not permanently mind you, but sporadically and on demand so as to quiet all the clamor that three littles make.
Please God give me patience for just 85 more minutes. And then Patrick's shift will begin (He really is the best. Just last night he sent me to bed early and then proceeded to put the kids in bed and cleaned up our disaster of a kitchen... Doesn't get much better than that!)
Alright. Enough procrastinating. I'm off to meet my doom fate.
But if the past three days are any indication of my future that is exactly what I'll get.
And we want to have another one? .
Did I mention the nervous twitch I've developed in my right eye? And how at times I've thought it would be "rather nice" to be deaf, not permanently mind you, but sporadically and on demand so as to quiet all the clamor that three littles make.
Please God give me patience for just 85 more minutes. And then Patrick's shift will begin (He really is the best. Just last night he sent me to bed early and then proceeded to put the kids in bed and cleaned up our disaster of a kitchen... Doesn't get much better than that!)
Alright. Enough procrastinating. I'm off to meet my doom fate.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
When your boss is a four year old ballerina
things like this tend to happen frequently.
No worries Daddy. Our boys are tough enough to wear pink....tutus.
And really, who could resist such a sweet little smile?
Only four years old and already she has boys doing exactly what she wants.
Monday, January 18, 2010
When it's a fight between my butt and my blog...
It's been awhile since the last one? How many times have I written that, not really knowing how to pick up from where we last left off?
Sigh.
Wanna hear the excuse for the latest break?
Well I don't care. I'm gonna tell you anyways.
I've been running my arse off. Literally. Almost everyday I strap on my four year old Nikes that can only be called "running shoes" in the most liberal definition of shoes, sweet talk myself onto the treadmill and then proceed to sweat, cry and pound my way through four brutal miles. BUT at the end of all that self imposed torture I feel WONDERFUL. Like I can go for another four miles (riiight) Like I can fit into my skinny jeans (I can't). Like I'll one day be one of those people who runs for fun.... on national holidays even. Maybe even subscribe to "Runner's World" and train for a half marathons.
Alright. Alright. Before I get too ambitious let's just remember the real reason behind all the madness. Not health reasons, recreation, or meditation (which I've heard some people do while running which is crazy) but instead trying to recreate and reshape the house that tortillas, refried frijoles and cerveza built.
Am I getting to point in the story where I should parade out my point? Or maybe I should go on about how I was able to pack on 10lbs over just two weeks? And how as a person who never leaves home in anything but heels (I'm sexy like that) I was forced to wear the ugly Nike shoes out because they were the only shoes that matched the drawstring pants that I needed to wear because all my other pants either cut off circulation to the upper half of my body and/or gave me muffin top.
Nasty. Nasty and sad.
What was I talking about? Oh yea. The point.
The point is that most afternoons I only have 60-90 sacred minutes to myself. In that time I must also eat, shower, clean, and start dinner. The remaining minutes must be spent on either running or blogging. And I'm tired of being fat. Soooo you get the picture.
The moral of the story if the post on the blog become more scant in the upcoming weeks, be happy for me. And my butt.
Sigh.
Wanna hear the excuse for the latest break?
Well I don't care. I'm gonna tell you anyways.
I've been running my arse off. Literally. Almost everyday I strap on my four year old Nikes that can only be called "running shoes" in the most liberal definition of shoes, sweet talk myself onto the treadmill and then proceed to sweat, cry and pound my way through four brutal miles. BUT at the end of all that self imposed torture I feel WONDERFUL. Like I can go for another four miles (riiight) Like I can fit into my skinny jeans (I can't). Like I'll one day be one of those people who runs for fun.... on national holidays even. Maybe even subscribe to "Runner's World" and train for a half marathons.
Alright. Alright. Before I get too ambitious let's just remember the real reason behind all the madness. Not health reasons, recreation, or meditation (which I've heard some people do while running which is crazy) but instead trying to recreate and reshape the house that tortillas, refried frijoles and cerveza built.
Am I getting to point in the story where I should parade out my point? Or maybe I should go on about how I was able to pack on 10lbs over just two weeks? And how as a person who never leaves home in anything but heels (I'm sexy like that) I was forced to wear the ugly Nike shoes out because they were the only shoes that matched the drawstring pants that I needed to wear because all my other pants either cut off circulation to the upper half of my body and/or gave me muffin top.
Nasty. Nasty and sad.
What was I talking about? Oh yea. The point.
The point is that most afternoons I only have 60-90 sacred minutes to myself. In that time I must also eat, shower, clean, and start dinner. The remaining minutes must be spent on either running or blogging. And I'm tired of being fat. Soooo you get the picture.
The moral of the story if the post on the blog become more scant in the upcoming weeks, be happy for me. And my butt.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Because everyone else is doing it!
The thing is I'm not really in the mood to do an "Intro to 2010- Here comes another decade" kind of post. Patrick has whisked the kids away for a few hours for some fun, food and football at Grandma Nelsons and what I should be doing is laying in bed. Watching Tv. Or reading. Or sleeping. But instead I took a teeny, tiny detour to peruse other blogs and now I'm convinced that I won't just be able to pick up on say January 10th and post something that completely ignores the fact that we have entered a new year, new decade even (Although according to some mathematicians the decade doesn't really start until Jan 1, 2011 but because everyone else is calling it a new decade and I don't really get the math on that little equation I'll just have to call it a new decade too. Congratulations. You've done it again NPR. You always enlighten me with your fantastic news and information programming but now I have the burden of carrying around terribly interesting trivia that no one else is dorky enough to care about. Thanks.)
Can you tell I'm procrastinating? Should not procrastinating be on my New Year's resolution list?
Maybe yes. That and for Pete's sake I should DEFINITELY STOP eating absolutely everything in sight! (Ha! I just wrote "for Pete's sake" I'm sure that I've never said that aloud but it's fun to try new phrases in ones blog. Gosh darn-nit! Okay now I just sound like Patrick.) I mean really. It's not as though I'm pregnant or nursing anymore. I no longer have the caloric requirements of a high school boy yet my stomach and brain are convinced otherwise. Such cliche' things to put on my New Year's Resolution list.
Raise your right hand.
I ,Cristal, will stop procrastinating.
I ,Cristal, resolve to lose weight.
I ,Cristal, will strive to maintain a positive attitude.
Ugh.
I feel all I-subscribe-to-tabloid-magazines-and-read-romance-novels for even having a "New Year's Resolution" List. Aren't the odds for success better if you don't make such sweeping goals? Instead I should say "I resolve to not go back for round two after dinner." That seems doable right? Unless of course it's Enchilada night. Or the weekend. Or a holiday. Or I'm in a bad mood. Or celebrating. Or my Mom and her unrivaled cooking skills are back in town. Or it's two weeks til Jan 1, 2011 and it might work out better if I just start off fresh in 2011. Right. Scratch weight loss of the list. Insert "Read more".
Anyhow enough procrastinating. Here goes what I started off avoiding at least three rambling paragraphs ago.
My Decade in Review:
I started the decade having just graduated high school. Yes HIGH SCHOOL. In that time I went to college (can't even begin to describe how much fun that was!), earned two bachelors degrees, went to work for a few months, decided I didn't like working, went back to get a Master's, met and feel in luv with my future hubby, graduated, went to work, got married, had a baby, then two more, moved SIX times, bought a first home and had the most amazing time along the way. I am blessed people. Blessed beyond what I deserve or could ever imagine. On Jan 1, 2000 I never would have predicted or planned that in ten years this would be my life but luckily God knows what I need, far better than anything I could ever want or plan for myself.
As for our 09 Year in Review:
January
Is there a better way to start the year than surrounded by three of the most fantastic little people ever breathed into creation? Me thinks not.
Plus the boy's learned to walk. Bonus!
February
Alex and Max turned one!
March
Fun visiting Grandma and Grandpa Campos at their home "on the farm" to celebrate Grandma's birthday. I won't say which one. Besides she doesn't look a day over 21!
Plus we bought and moved into our first home.
Plus we bought and moved into our first home.
April
Family Trip with Grandma and Grandpa Campos to Disneyland, The Beach, Other California locations Plus Easter
Max and Alex were baptized. Afterwards we celebrated!
Plus The Start of of a Chapter We like to Call "We have become the kind of people that go to Lowe's for fun aka Welcome to Home Improvement Mania"
June
Sophia went to preschool for the first time. Patrick and I celebrated our anniversary. Sophia went to her first movie (Up!), Sang "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" to Patrick on Father's Day, Then Sang "Happy Birthday" to him a week later,
July
Fun Trip To Albuquerque and Santa Fe to visit see old friends over the 4th plus more summer fun!
August
I got one year closer to 30, we had a great time at Sitting Bull Falls, and still more fun on a day trip to Lincoln with Grandma, Grandpa and Tia Sonia
September
White Sands Balloon Festival! Plus Mama took a little trip to Nashville.
October
Party at Grandpa's house, He's one year wiser! Our baby Sophia turned four. And a little Halloween Fun.
November
More Fall Fun at the Corn Maze, Pumpkin Patch and White Sands taking our family Christmas Card pics
December
Sophia's First Time at the Ballet , A Christmas Tea Party, Santa arrives with many gifts for our good boys & girl plus the kids get to see snow for the first time.
So there you have it. My decade and our year in review.
Admittedly a little wobbly at the end but hey I got tired. It's a holiday. Give me a break.
Here's to a healthy, happy and safe 2010!
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