The Big "H"

It was coming. Not that I thought it would happen so soon but I knew it was inevitable.  For some reason I thought we had a few more years but she has been an "early bloomer" in all other areas so why not this one too?

So it goes that no matter how good/patient/sweet/fair a parent you are, one day that little mouth you've loved, cared for, cooed over, nurtured selflessly will spit out the words "I HATE YOU!" and stop you cold in your tracks.  This "first"  was surprising to me mostly because I wasn't aware that she'd ever heard the word, let alone know how to use it in proper context.  I'm sure Patrick and I have never used it in her presence and not likely that Cailou or Handy Manny are going around "hatin" on things so I'm not sure where she assimilated it into her verbal arsenal.  Truthfully it's interesting to me how kids innately understand the meaning of things like "love, "hate" and "God" without need for adult explanation and interpretation. They seem to be born with a set of universal truths that don't require a bungling parental explanation.

All that conscience "purposeful" understanding aside I have to admit it did take me a few seconds to recover from the blow. I had prepared to hear it but I wasn't quite ready with what my response should be.  Act hurt (to encourage empathy for other's feelings however it could lead to further outburts to gain power/attention), act angry (to show an outward consequence for ones action BUT it could inhibit future expressions of emotion),  or act unaffected (to show that I'm in control and not swayed by shock tactics.. easy to say, not so easy to do). I ultimately went with acting unmoved.  I asked her to remain in her room (which is where she was at the time of her outburst) and later talked to her about the use of "big" words like hate and how they impact other people.

Can't say whether any of it sunk in or whether I did the right thing. Time will tell and hopefully by the time the boy's are spewing out the 'h' word I'll have worked through what the best plan is.

Lucky for me they're not early talkers. I may have a couple years of nothing but "mamaluv" from them. One can wish, right?